Archive for the 'ucf' Category

Springtime in Denver

This last week I was in Denver on business. The wide open skies and fabulous sunshine were awesome, as were my excellent hosts, Hot Chick JanieceTM, her Smart Man, and their giant, sweet schnauzer Boogie. They took excellent care of me – thank you for everything!


Boogie, Janiece and the perennially cheerful (and anonymous) Smart Man.

I took some time off for fun on Thursday and Friday, and much fun was had by everyone. The Incomparable AnneTM and the Organized StaceyTM joined us for massages, shopping and pedicures, and Stacey’s husband JR jumped on board for dinner at local Asian restaurant Junz.

Stacey & Janiece
Stacey and Janiece. This was taken at dinner, after a Lemon Drop or two.

Anne, Jeri & JR
Anne, Jeri & JR (Stacey’s husband). Terry and JR were highly entertained by our company. ;)

Jeri, Anne & Janiece
Jeri, Anne and Janiece at PF Changs, where we ate lunch in honor of our friend John.

Posted on Saturday, May 22nd, 2010 by Jeri
Under: friends, ucf | 4 Comments »

Trollopalooza 2009

I’m finally done editing and posting Trollopalooza 2009 photos. It was a fabulous time – Janiece and her smart man are gracious and thoughtful hosts and Anne, Michelle and Michael were tremendous fun as well. I’m as always very grateful for the blessing of the awesome friends I share my life with.

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2532/3779236499_bb496c620f.jpg
I was greeted at the airport by laughing women bearing “Drunken Trollops” signs.

Jeri, Anne & Michelle at Dinner
Jeri, Anne & Michelle at our fabulous sushi/Asian cuisine dinner the first night.

Garden of the Gods
We pose in front of the Garden of the God(desse)s sign.

Garden of the Gods
The three trollops, not unlike the three stooges, pose for a mug shot.

Focusing
On the way out of Colorado springs, we stop for a brief field trip. Those of you who know us well understand the irony of this picture.

Oreos
On the final night, Michelle and Anne baked for us! Yum, home-baked Oreos!

It was sad leaving these ladies and returning home to my mundane life. Thankfully, there’s twitter, Facebook, IM and everything else – because they are made of awesome. Thanks for the fabulous weekend – and again, thanks to my excellent hostess Janiece!

Posted on Friday, July 31st, 2009 by Jeri
Under: friends, ucf | 1 Comment »

Not Quite my Art Form

Today is national limerick day. Both Nathan and Vince have made contributions – neither are entirely safe for work.

After ten minutes of noodling about, I can safely say that this is not my thing. I can approximate the meter but am completely lacking the humor part of the form.

There once was a game geek named Zach
Whose screen turned surprisingly black
But then he restarted
His crash was outsmarted
And now he continues to hack

A singer and actor named Ben
Auditioned for All the Kings’ Men
He dressed to the nines
and remembered his lines
He’s opening Friday at ten

There once were two dogs who stood guard
Both Panda and Murphy barked hard
Then they slept in
Missed all their bacon
And now they dig holes in the yard

Posted on Tuesday, May 12th, 2009 by Jeri
Under: humor, ucf | 5 Comments »

Seattle Meet-up

natalie_jeri

I got to get together with Neurondoc in person today! She is every bit as charming, funny and wise in person as she is online.

This really poor quality pic from my Blackberry is the evidence – my apologies. I am the jolly green giant, she is the tiny one who is actually in focus.

We had a wonderful seafood dinner on the waterfront (Elliott’s Oyster House), with oysters (for me), calamari, crab and scallops. Yes, John, they were raw oysters. Then, as planned, we did the monster truck rally, ultimate fighting championship, strip clubs, and hit the Pioneer Square nightclubs until dawn. (I lie. A lot. I was home by 9:30 and that’s with a half hour wait for the ferry.)

I look forward to getting together with her again later this week!

Posted on Saturday, April 25th, 2009 by Jeri
Under: friends, ucf | 15 Comments »

The Truth is Out There

The truth is out.

Those constant business trips to Anchorage? A sham. I’m really an independent intelligence analyst, currently selling my wares to the Union of Collaborating Founders (UCF).

Every month I travel behind the iron curtain, the silk curtain, the gauze curtain and even the shower curtain to uncover the intelligence data secrets of the world, then I smuggle them home and enter them into the custom MuRPHY analytical software package running 24×7 on my crawlspace supercomputer.

Multiple Responsive Parametric Hemispheric Yield (MuRPHYTM) data analysis and decryption… because if it can happen, it will happen, and an informed organization is a prepared organization. Thrifty, brave, loyal, reverent, kind. All war is deception. Patent pending.

Working for a telecommunications company in IT is a great cover. I have the ability to encode and transmit large amounts of information whenever needed across our fiber optic and satellite network, and I can send encrypted messages to selected recipients via our invoices. (You didn’t think they were that hard to decipher for business reasons, did you?)

I first began working in intelligence gathering and analysis in college, when I served as a typist for the local Air Force base personnel office, sorting, filing and occasionally rejecting performance evaluations. I saw certain repeated patterns in some officers’ written evals, terms like megalomania and dissociative, and after asking about them was initiated into the organization.

(Don’t ask me about the initiation; it was painful, humiliating, and required every bit of my knowledge of Norse history, cephalopod anatomy and astrophysics to survive.)

Initially, I worked for the US Government, for the Department of Energy in gathering data related to nuclear science, international particle physics research and international cooperation and high-risk technology nonproliferation. The bureaucracy drove me crazy, literally. After assaulting my manager over excessive reporting requirements – seriously, did I have to document every airport restroom I visited? – I was hospitalized, then relieved of my position for medical reasons.

After an initial period of grief, then anger, I quickly realized that my skills were worth a great deal on the open market. While building a convincing cover in the telecom industry, I put my analysis skills to work for governmental, pan-governmental and mercenary agencies around the world. I tried to avoid working for the Axis of Evil, but that’s really a subjective perspective, isn’t it?

My career has taken me all over the Western Hemisphere, and I’ve gotten to meet fabulous colleagues in the intelligence community – like: Jim “Buttercup” Wright, who gave me a tour of his infamous interrogation facility; Anne “Mata Hari” Cutrell, who hosted me in her super-secret intelligence safe house; Second-in-Command Janiece “Doris” Murphy, who gave me encrypted wireless data to carry back to Alaska with me; and Tania “Xena” Clucas, whom I’ve conspired with in more than one state.

So, now that the UCF has been outed, what’s next? Can they continue to battle evil, promote scientific thought and debunk idiocy throughout the world, or will they be reduced to a mere social group, not unlike a book club or playgroup?

Only time will tell. My loyalty will continue as long as my paychecks do.

The history of the UCF’s public battles against evil and insanity are here (please note – this is the only initiative they’ve been outed on – there are many, many others that will forever remain a secret):

Posted on Thursday, January 1st, 2009 by Jeri
Under: ucf | 4 Comments »