There are people in my life for whom there is no accurate naming convention – and there should be! I propose the development of a new naming syntax to reflect today’s modern family complexities.

For example, this weekend, an awesome teenager is coming to visit our family. Amanda is technically no relationship to me. She’s my ex-husband’s wife’s daughter – and my sons’ stepsister. I’ve been calling her my “sorta-kinda-stepdaughter” but the relationship is much more niece-ish.

I have an amicable relationship with my ex and his wife, who is a great gal. A friend of mine calls her ex’s new wife (and her friend) the “wife-in-law”. I like it! It’s catchy and completely confusing.

And I work with a really awesome gentleman that, again, is technically no relationship to me. He’s my sister-in-law’s husband’s father. I call him a “sorta-kinda-in-law”. That’s not accurate either, we don’t see that much of each other – but if he ever needs anything, I’d be there, he is family.

And what about my sons’ girlfriends, who spend an awful lot of time over here? No relation – although I like them awfully well and they’re welcome here anytime. (I’d sure rather they were here than hanging out at a picnic table in a deserted park!) I call them my “adopted daughters”. Really, though, that’s a bit twisted if you think about it, so I need a better term there too.

Any suggestions for a new, flexible taxonomy are welcome. Meanwhile, I’ll be hanging out with Amanda and the boys – we’re going to see the musical Wicked tomorrow.