Independence Day, Alone

US FlagThis weekend, Independence Day appropriately enough, I will be flying solo for a few days. Not only is it the first time since losing Bryan – but really, the first time in a very long time, with the exception of business trips.

The boys are taking their first road trip south to Portland. Zach is driving. :o Of course I’m a nervous mom, but I’m also very proud of them – independence and flying the nest is the goal, isn’t it?

The boys have been wonderfully supportive to me since losing Bryan, patient, helpful and just plain good company. They give me hugs whenever I ask, wait up for me after business trips, adventure outdoors with me, and are willing to chat into the late hours of the night.

With them out of town, I have several options on how to handle the long holiday weekend. I can go visit family or hang out with friends. I can go to the coast, or to the mountains, for a solo lodge adventure. I can go camping.

After some reflection, I’ve decided just to hang out at home. Partially it’s because I’m cheap; I don’t want to pay for a room somewhere plus dog sitting. But more importantly, it’s because embracing being alone, making friends with my solo self, is something I need to do.

It won’t be easy. I’m sure I’ll have sad moments and anxious moments. But learning to live happily by myself is essential, now.

I’m going to try to make a mini-retreat out of it. I’ve been to retreat centers where I’ve had time to relax, re-focus, find my center, and I think I can do that here at home as well, as long as I don’t get distracted with non-essential stuff. For example, I’m going to attempt to stay offline – I may not be 100% successful, it’s a wicked habit, but it’s worth a try.

I’m going to focus on getting plenty of rest, meaningful reading (and fun reading too!), yoga, meditation, hiking and creative projects. I have a LOT of creative projects queued up – some metalsmithing, a quilting/fabric art project, writing, some redecorating, even painting. In spite of all that, I’m also going to try to stay relatively unscheduled, rather than over-commit myself.

I may blog; I may not. That would be the exception to my intention of staying disconnected. Otherwise, I will be off net.

Happy Independence Day!

6 Responses to “Independence Day, Alone”

  1. Janiece Says:

    Good luck, Jeri. You know you can reach out if you need a virtual hug.

    Enjoy your weekend!

  2. Jeri Says:

    Janiece, I’ve decided it’s all in the mindset. I used to really enjoy the occasional afternoon or evening when I got to be home alone, no boys or hub to take care of and/or distract me. I need to learn to apply that same attitude here. :)

  3. Random Michelle Says:

    Let me know if you need txt entertainment. I’m always good for that!

    :)

  4. Gene Says:

    Hope it is a great weekend!! We are going to Fairbanks!

  5. Tom Says:

    Jeri, I too will be alone for the weekend. But I had 17 years of singleness to teach me how to accept and even enjoy being by myself, and only 14 (recent) months of not-aloneness to contrast with that. If you get lonely, reach out mentally, and we can be alone together. :)

    As to restricting your on-line time, that’s where I get some of my best reading. UCFers are a treasure trove of reading material. Sometimes I even go back and re-read some of my own posts. Especially when I’m feeling introspective.

    But this weekend is for getting things ready for the construction work on the house, which may start Monday. This means I’ll have to rearrange where the computers are, so I may have to put up with some temporary interruptions in my network acces, too.

    Have a great weekend, and a fabulous 4th.

  6. Becca Says:

    I hope that you are embracing your “you” time. I know that it must be hard, but you are a strong, independent woman, and this is all a part of becoming the next chapter of who you are.