Life is Short
Life is short. And unfair.
Still, if there’s one thing the past few months have taught me, it’s to live your life to the fullest, now.
One of the saddest phrases I know is “We’d always planned to do that but now he (or she) is gone.”
My husband is gone, our dreams of travel to Australia, to Europe, an Alaskan cruise, all gone with him. I can and will travel on alone, with my friends and family as company, but it’s not…. quite…. the same.
And now I see so much pain and tragedy around me. My father-in-law is bravely fighting cancer, although he’s come through a couple of major surgeries with flying colors. One good friend just found out her husband may have aggressive and potentially untreatable cancer. Another good friend’s sister has disappeared, possibly into a world of drugs and fear. A third good friend recently survived a terrible car accident that could have killed him.
Whatever your dream is, whatever your idyllic future is, make it happen, damn it! No one is guaranteed tomorrow and a life deferred is a life of disappointment.
What are your dreams? Travel? Reconnecting with family? Learning an art or craft? Working in a different field? Rebuilding your faith? Improving your health and fitness? Being involved in things that matter, like service, social justice & politics?
Make them come true, now. Money doesn’t matter. Security is highly overrated. As my longtime friend Michelle once challenged me, “What would you do if you could remove all fear from your thinking? What would you choose, where would you go?” Commit yourself to your dreams and make them happen, with those you love supporting you, while you can.
While people pleasing is a losing game, the people in your life do matter. Let those you love know it, every day. The morning that I lost Bryan, like every morning of our lives, we hugged, kissed and told each other we loved each other. This has saved my sanity in the days and months since. Be affectionate, be demonstrative, take the risk of being unselfish and give the gift of your blessing and support.
Life is short and infinitely precious. Give thanks for it, and live each day fully, as if it might be your last.
June 20th, 2009
And I know that we’re gonna be fine.
And the tattooed mistakes
Are gonna fade over time.
As long as we live, time passes by.
And we won’t get it back when we die.
June 20th, 2009
Jeri,
Thanks so much for the reminder. This helps me put some life changing decisions I have to make back into perspective. Also reminds me that it is important to not impede others in pursuing their dreams and happiness as well. Time to put away the fear and make things happen.
June 20th, 2009
After my last major life crisis, my new year’s resolution became, “Live a life without fear.”
It took me a number of years to reach that goal, and I have to remind myself of its value periodically, but damn, that was the best resolution ever!
June 20th, 2009
Vince, that’s lovely. Did you write it? Or is it a song lyric?
Celeste, it’s important to not impede others – but it’s also important to cling tight to some dreams of your own at the same time.
Janiece, as always, you’re my hero… excellent resolution and so glad it was profound for you.
June 20th, 2009
Yes. I’m working on it every day.
June 20th, 2009
That’s why I try to laugh as much as possible.
June 20th, 2009
Jeri, it’s from the Bowling For Soup song “When We Die.” The video is over on my post for the day, which urges people to read your post, as I have both posters and lurkers that aren’t UCF members.
June 20th, 2009
Dearest Jeri,
I remember that day very clearly. What I love about this exercise is it opens my heart to a state of eternal possibility. I still use it today.
What’s important for me to remember is the first step is the imagining process – that opens the door. I often can get shut down by the myriad of voices telling me a range of excuses not to even dream. What has become key for me is knowing the feeling of fear, or a multitude of other feelings I would rather die than feel will likely come, and to press on any way. Overcoming fear starts with a willingness to dream for me; it’s my window to the divine.
And, it’s always easier said than done. I’m gentle with myself these days – my process is imperfect as it’s in process
. I do know tragedies I have experienced brought a clarity of my values, it was a beautiful starting point, a bittersweet opportunity I wished I could undo somehow. I appreciate you being so generous and open with your process…what a gift you are.
Much love,
Michelle
June 20th, 2009
Tania, you’re doing an admirable job of it – taking more risk this year than most take in a lifetime!
Michelle, amen. I need to remember to laugh more and analyze less.
Thanks Vince, I went and watched it and it’s a great song.
June 20th, 2009
Michelle – I am so familiar with the voices, the internal critic, that try to shut me down. I really like that you say a willingness to dream is a window to the divine – how beautiful.
Yeah, processes are very imperfect by nature, a work in progress. I’m always reminded of Garth Brooks’ song “The Dance”, because I do want to choose the dance, embrace the risk of pain and loss and lead with my heart anyway.
Hugs and love to you and yours, as well!
June 22nd, 2009
Jeri,
Thanks for the reminder to live life. You post reminds me of a cartoon I have and keep.
Here is what it says:
Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arrivinig safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but reather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, wine in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming “WOO HOO what a ride!” Have a wonderful Day!!
I don’t know if I want to go as far as the carton goes but I think it is a great reminder to actually live life instead of just survive it!!
Hugs