Ashes in the Sound
Yesterday we took one last opportunity to say goodbye to Bryan – beloved husband, devoted father, cherished son and adored brother.
We spent the day on the Puget Sound and scattered Bryan’s ashes. I wanted to enjoy the day, the company of family and friends and remember him with my whole heart. We headed out of Liberty Bay toward Brownsville, where Bryan and I moor our own boat.
We navigated the sound on a couple of adorable electric boats. We couldn’t have had a more beautiful day if we’d custom-ordered it. The sun was brilliant and the water sparkled and it was warm and slightly breezy.
I had the beautiful urn that Jim made for us. I also asked a local florist for a bag of flower petals; she saved roses for me for several days and wouldn’t accept a dime. Mom brought a small box of skipping stones and encouraged us to write messages on them. I engraved a small brass heart with the words, “Bryan Merrell, 1963-2009, With our love.”
When we neared Brownsville harbor, we tied the boats up together. The captain recited parts of Psalm 107:23-43 for us:
Those who go down to the sea in ships,
Who do business on great waters;
They have seen the works of the LORD,
And His wonders in the deep.
For He spoke and raised up a stormy wind,
Which lifted up the waves of the sea.
They rose up to the heavens, they went down to the depths;
Their soul melted away in their misery.
They reeled and staggered like a drunken man,
And were at their wits’ end.
Then they cried to the LORD in their trouble,
And He brought them out of their distresses.
He caused the storm to be still,
So that the waves of the sea were hushed.
So He guided them to their desired haven.
Let them give thanks to the LORD for His lovingkindness,
And for His wonders to the sons of men!
When they are diminished and bowed down
Through oppression, misery and sorrow,
He sets the needy securely on high away from affliction,
And makes his families like a flock.
We scattered his ashes over the side; they swirled and eddied in the water and finally disappeared into the sparkle of the sun’s reflection.
Then everyone tossed rose petals into the water; it was slack tide with no current, so the roses drifted out into a giant halo around our boats.
Mom pulled out the stones and we skipped them into the water; the moment of levity was perfect. I am horrible at skipping stones but managed to get one at the right angle. My sister Cheri was a pro.
We passed around the little engraved brass heart around and thought of him, then I asked his mom to release it after the ashes and roses. It drifted slowly down into the water, flashing and turning in the sun, and gradually faded from sight. Someday maybe some intrepid scuba diver will find it, covered in silt and encrusted in verdigris.
Bryan’s final resting place – besides, of course, in our hearts – is 47-40’49.0″ N, 122-36″56.3″ W, in 26.3 feet of water.
According to a friend, the ashes will find their way out the Strait and into the Pacific, where they will continue to circulate counterclockwise over a 3.5 year period, up to Alaska, over to Japan, down to the South Pacific, and back to North America. I really like that idea.
We sat there, drifting, for some time, some of us sharing memories and others sitting contemplatively.
It was a beautiful way to say goodbye. We will always love him and will miss him tremendously.
May 24th, 2009
Jeri,
That is absolutely beautiful and very touching. Hugs to you all.
May 24th, 2009
A beautiful and moving way to remember Bryan.
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
May 24th, 2009
I’m so glad the weather cooperated for you, and that the ceremony brought you peace and joy.
As always, you and your family are in my thoughts.
May 24th, 2009
What a remarkable remembrance for a remarkably loved man.
You and your family are in my thoughts, and I’m sending warm hugs to you.
May 24th, 2009
Thank you for sharing this with us, Jeri. I’m so glad everything went well.
I love that picture of the rose petals on the water. So peaceful.
May 24th, 2009
What a beautiful remembrance. Thank you for sharing this part of the journey with us.
As always, you all are in my thoughts.
May 24th, 2009
Wonderful ceremony and the urn is spectacular. And fitting that it is Memorial Day weekend.
May 26th, 2009
Jeri,
Thanks for sharing your very private momment with us! I am very happy that you got such great weather!! Hugs
Gene
May 26th, 2009
Jeri, What a really nice “post”! I too noticed the wreath of rose petals surrounding our little flotilla. It was truly a special experience, our two families and friends sharing this for Bryan.
Love, Mom
May 26th, 2009
The weather WAS glorious that day – I like to think Bryan had an alchemic hand in it…
Morbid question, but were you fearful of dropping the urn in the water by accident? Just asking, is all.
Your flower petal/blue water pics are stunning.
I told Curt about the journey and world travels of those ashes and he thought that was the coolest thing. Jonika wondered if the water would drown the ashes.
And I just wonder how you and the boys are.
May 27th, 2009
Thanks, all, for the love and support.
I have to disclaim: the photos are courtesy of Zach, my in-house semipro photographer.
It was a peaceful and bittersweet outing – a lovely way to remember him.
Holy – yes, I was a little fearful of dropping the urn. You just can’t see the white-knuckled grip in the photo.
The boys and I are doing ok. I think I’ve been sleeping a little better since the outing, although last night was painful again. Ben was contemplative during the boat trip and seems lighter-hearted since. Zach was, as always, helpful and supportive even if rather distracted by his lovely GF.
May 27th, 2009
Jeri, that was lovely. Thank you for sharing with us. I’m still keeping y’all in my thoughts.
May 27th, 2009
I’m glad the ceremony went well. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
May 31st, 2009
Thanks for sharing this. Very beautiful. I like the journey his ashes may take – that route sounds very adventurous.
-bm
September 19th, 2009
That was a beautiful entry and a wonderful way to remember Bryan. Thank you for sharing with us how you grieve and how to learn to keep moving forward. May we all do this with as much grace and dignity as you when our times come.