Usually, I try to keep Smug Puppies to PG 13, since extended family and even occasionally my children read this. My nearest and dearest have no illusions about my twisted mind and sailor mouth, but still, I try to keep it relatively clean.

This post pushes those limits, so stop here if you don’t want to go that direction.

Yesterday’s Seattle Times ran an interesting article detailing the shutdown of a suburban Seattle swingers’ club.

Apparently, this couple rented a home in a suburb of Seattle, set it up with all sorts of erotic paraphernalia & facilities, and started throwing parties.

They started out at just a couple of events a month, but quickly grew to two or three times a week, with as many as sixty guests at the more popular events. Neighbors continually filed complaints about noise, public nudity and parking violations, not to mention the festivities spilling over onto neighboring property.

Nothing conclusive came from those complaints, but city officers did note a possible issue with operating a business without a license, issuing a warning and then a citation, which finally shut the operation down.

Apparently the club was advertised online, and the hosts solicited donations at the door to help defray operating expenses like laundry service, housekeeping, groundskeeping & utility costs. The combination of advertising and cash exchange made it a business, in the eyes of the city.

As I read through through this, my reactions were mixed.

Naïve me was amazed that such clubs actually exist outside the pages of soft-core novels and magazines.

Practical me wondered why the heck this couple didn’t buy secluded property in the country, rather than rent a house in the suburbs, for their activities. Where was their landlord?

And homeowner me tried to put myself in their neighbors’ shoes. As most of you know, I’m a small-l libertarian, and believe that everyone has a right to do what they want in the privacy of their own home without government interference. “An it harm none, do as ye will.”

But even if my neighborhood is well-treed and somewhat secluded, do I want sprawling, noisy, well-attended sex parties next door, complete with noise, casual nudity, kinky strangers wandering my subdivision, cars blocking my driveway and detritus in my shrubbery?

Absolutely no way in hell!

I think those neighbors were amazingly patient. I probably would have plotted the perfect arson several months ago. Or worse.

Isn’t life in the suburbs grand?