Looking back on this week in the media, my head is spinning. You can’t make up stuff this good – truth is wilder and stranger than fiction.

In front page, headline banner news everywhere, a 39 year old former stripper, trophy wife and spokesmodel – whose primary claim to fame is marrying an elderly billionaire and pursuing her inheritance through the court system – is dead of unknown reasons in an Indian casino in Florida. I think the chances of her death being natural causes are about as great as those of her being a natural blonde with original equipment.

In other news of female role models, an astronaut drove 950 miles cross country while wearing a adult diaper to avoid pit stops, to confront a woman she perceived to be a romantic rival for the affections of a fellow astronaut. The elite of the elite, this astronaut wore a wig and trenchcoat, carried pepper spray and a BB gun, and had other potential kidnap/torture implements in her car for the meeting. She is 43, married and a mother of three, and the “romance” may have been only in her mind. This woman has ridden the space shuttle and been to the International Space Station – and most certainly has a high level security clearance – so she has unprecedented stalking capabilities.

I glimpsed a headline on Wednesday that read, “Bill Gates outlines his vision for online security, but experts are unsure about Windows Vista.” I read this the afternoon after running Windows and Office updates to my XP system for two solid hours – just to be able to load a compatibility pack. Bill Gates is definitely a cutting edge leader in the technology field, and I’d follow him anywhere – just not to his hair stylist nor as a security guru.

In other groundbreaking news, models are too skinny. Really? You sure about that? My favorite perspective on them is comedian Janeane Garofalo’s – who calls them “genetic freaks”. In the most ironic juxtaposition to date, designer Catherine Malandrino held her Fashion Week runway show at the New Chelsea Museum, where the exhibit Dangerous Beauty includes a floor tiled with bathroom scales (right).

It just amazes me that all this sensationalist junk smeared across the tops of newspapers, websites and tv screens across America gets such tremendous coverage. I guess it sells copies and draws viewers. What happened to the real news of the week, with tremendous and far reaching importance? How about the Lewis Libby trial? The nuclear crisis in Iran? Violent riots at Temple Mount in the Middle East? I guess that substantive, meaningful news just isn’t as sexy and cool.